Random Conversations
by Ssorian
Summary: Complete, crazed, illogically logical, confusing, boringly interesting randomness. Yup... I think that about covers it. Oh yeah, forgot to mention they're conversations too.
1. Chapter 1

Random Conversations I

Cast: Character A, Character B

(Two characters come on screen at the same time, from opposite sides and meet each other half way across.)

A: Who are you?

B: Never mind who I am, who are you?

A: I mind who you are?

B: Yes, exactly.

A: What?

B: You got it right on the nail.

A: Got what?

B: That I mind who you are, and therefore, you should tell me who you are?

A: I said nothing of the sort.

B: Sure you did.

A: If I did I don't remember it.

B: What's with all this "I" business, who's I? I still don't even know who you are?

A: You are you and I am I.

B: But who exactly are you?

A: You is you, didn't I just mention that?

B: I suppose you did.

A: Listen, you, I can't just stand here talking to you, when I don't even know your name. So I bid you farewell.

B: No wait, neither of us is leaving until I know who you are!

A: Good. Then tell me.

B: But... who's me? And why should I be telling me, when clearly you should be telling I?

A: I'm me.

B: No, see, there's where your mistaken, for I am me.

A: Then you wouldn't be I, now would you?

B: That's preposterous!

A: Who's preposterous?

B: You are!

A: I couldn't be preposterous when I am clearly me.

B: Ah, so your me!

A: I most certainly am not you!

B: I know, you couldn't be you when you are clearly me!

A: You make no sense!

B: Now your gonna go and bring this you guy into it are you!

A: No, you brought you into it, because your already in it.

B: I did not!

A: I know I didn't!

B: Yes you did, cuz I didn't and one of us have to had, so it might as well have been you!

A: But... your you.

B: No, your you!

A: By George! Your right!

B: Who's George, and what's he got to do with anything!

A: I have no idea.

B: Of coarse I don't have any idea! If I had any idea, you think I'd be asking you!

A: Wait... I'm gonna have to... think this one out... If I... and I's you... who is me... then me... is George?

B: How could you be George? Your me, remember!

A: No, I'm I, your you, and George is me!

B: So, I was right, you are me!

A: That reminds me of a phrase...

B: Quit talking about yourself in the third person! That annoys me!

A: But, I thought you said I was me.

B: No, you is me, I am I.

A: And Tie am Tie.

B: I believe you mean Tie IS Tie, not Tie am Tie, use proper English!

A: Sorry, I slurred, I meant to say I am I.

B: Oh... But... then who's Tie!

A: I'd assume Tie is Tie.

B: Ha! So I was right in assuming you meant Tie is Tie!

A: No I meant I am I, but said Tie am Tie.

B: But, Tie is Tie, not Tie am Tie!

A: But, who the heck IS Tie?

B: I don't know, you brought him into the conversation.

A: Just like you brought George into the conversation! I still don't know who George is!

B: Shut up about George, already! I want to know who Tie is!

A: Tie is Tie, there case closed... Now back to George...

B: Logically, if Tie is Tie, then George is George, am I right?

A: I suppose you are.

B: Quit taking all the credit! You're not the one whose right! I am!  
A: I know you are.

B: There you go again!

A: Your going? Where?

B: No, your mistaken, it is not I that is going but you.

A: Correct. You are going.

B: Good.

A: Glad we could agree on something.

B: Why do you do that?

A: What'd I do?

B: Everything was fine and dandy and I almost understood who everybody was until you decided to go and through "we" into the mix!

A: You didn't through we into the mix, I did.

B: Or was it Tie?

A: Coulda been George.

B: No, it couldn't have been Tie or George!

A: Why not?

B: Because neither Tie nor George is I!

A: Oh, right! Cuz I is I!

B: I am I.

A: No I is I.

B: You always use improper English!

A: No, I'm using proper English!

B: In proper English I is not is I I is am I!

A: Listen to my logic before you contradict.

B: Why would you contradict your own statement?

A: Just listen to the logic!

B: I'm all ears.

A: Good. If you is properly is you. Then I must logically properly be is I! See, makes sense doesn't it!

B: By George it does!

A: Why does George get all the attention! Why not say "By Tie!"

B: Cuz I don't know who Tie is, that's why!

A: But, you don't know who George is either!

B: That's beside the point!

A: What's beside the point?

B: That is.

A: You keep bringing new people into this! Whose That and why are they standing beside a point!

B: I don't know who That is, I'm not even sure anymore who I is!

A: Am.

B: Are you saying... I is Am?

A: Whose Am?

B: Must be a friend of That's!

A: Must be!

B: Wow! This has been quite a lengthy conversation, considering I still have no idea as to who you are.

A: You must have a short memory, for I distinctly remember not a while ago, us discussing that you is you.

B: Right, but now I have to worry about this Us person!

A: Why?

B: Cuz as always, you brought another person into this!

A: You did! I had no idea!

B: If I had no idea how did I know!

A: I didn't know, that's the whole point!

B: But I did know! And I thought That was standing beside the point! Now your saying that That is the point!

A: Must be beside themselves!

B: Haha! That was a good one!

A: That died?

B: What died?

A: What too!

B: No, what are you talking about that died!

A: I'm talking about That who obviously died, because you said was a good one and not is a good one!

B: Oh!

A: Yes, and now you told me What died too!

B: Who died too?

A: People are dropping like flies!

B: What?

A: No they died.

B: They died?

A: I suppose so, along with That, What, and Who!

B: So tragic! I suppose we're next.

A: Who's We're? And what makes you think they're next?

B: Firstly I think We're next, and not you... Well I suppose you could, but I did first. Secondly, I don't think They're next, I think We're next! Thirdly, who's They're!

A: What if neither We're nor They're next and Tie's next!

B: Why does it always got to be about Tie! Why can't George be next!

A: Cuz I still don't know who George is!

B: He's George!

A: He's is!

B: No George is George, remember!

A: Right! But, how could He's and George both be George?

B: They're not! George is George!

A: I know They're isn't George, because There is next to die!

B: Although, They're still could be George, but because They're next that means George is next!

A: No, George isn't next, Tie is!

B: No, your totally wrong! We're next, remember!

A: Right, but supposing We're is next, then They're could be after them, followed by George!

B: Why does Them get to be infront of George!

A: I suppose Them could be after George...

B: Them is after George!

A: No, it's We're then They're then Them then George!

B: But They're is George! Remember!

A: Oh, how could I have forgotten!

B: I didn't forget, you forgot, I remembered!

A: I did? I specifically remember you remembering, and me doing the forgetting.

B: Me forgot too?

A: Whose Me?  
B: Y'know I don't remember! We discussed that so long ago!

A: We discussed it?

B: Of coarse We did!

A: With who?

B: With each other, of coarse!

A: But We is one person, and how can one person be each other! Each other implies two persons!

B: People.

A: Who's that?

B: That is the point remember!

A: Oh, right!

B: You sure are forgetful!

A: No, I'm forgetful, you reminded me!

B: Oh, right!

A: But then who's People?

B: People are People!

A: Must I always correct you, People is People, remember! Cuz if You is You, I must be is I, meaning Tie is Tie, and George is George!

B: Why stop there! Could we not now infer that That is That, and We is We, and They're's They're! And that is all because You is You, so I must be is I, meaning Tie is Tie, and George is George, so logically People is People!

A: By Tie! I think your on to something!

B: I thought it was by George? And why is Your ontop of Something!

A: Whose It? The only peoples I recall being by anything was That and it turned out not to be by, or beside, the point but actually turned out to be the point!

B: No, That was never by Anything, unless Anything is the point...

A: How could Anything be the point!  
B: So your saying it's pointless?

A: No I'm saying, if That is the point, then Anything couldn't be the point!

B: Unless, Anything and That are one with the point!

A: So, Anything and That are the same person?

B: No, They're the same point!

A: No They're dead! They're can't be the same point as Anything and That!

B: Unless... They're and That and Anything are all dead!

A: Which would logically mean the point is dead as well!

B: Wait... they can't all be the point! ... Unless... they're all the same person!

A: Exactly! Except the bit about They, for sadly They is dead.

B: Along with the others who are dead.

A: If they're all dead... and the point is dead... What's to say that... they're not all the point as well!

B: So... your saying... that... That... They're... Anything... They... and all the others are all the point?

A: This would lead us to the conclusion that because, they're all the point... then they're all the same person!

B: Who must be dead!

A: Because the point is dead!

B: We've got it!

A: No We've is the point so We've is the same person as That, They're, Anything, They, and all the others, so We've is dead too!

B: So if We've is dead, and That is dead, and There is dead, and Anything is dead, and They is dead, and all the others are dead... What's to say We're not dead too!

A: We're is dead too, remember, We're is part of all the others!

B: Of coarse! So... that means all that's left is...

A: I... You...

B: Tie... and George!

A: And I is I, and You is You.

B: And Tie is Tie, and George is George!

A: What's not to say that because They, That, Anything, They're, We've, We're, and all the others are the same person...

B: The same dead person.

A: then... I, You, Tie, and George aren't the same person?

B: No... I is I, You is You, Tie is Tie, and George is George!

A: But couldn't I also be Tie while remaining to be is I? And Vice versa?

B: Your right! And if I could also be Tie while remaining to be is I and vice versa...

A: Then, You could just as easily be George while remaining to be is You!

B: So if You is George.

A: And I is Tie.

B: I must be Tie.

A: And I must be George!

B: Hello George, I'm Tie!

A: Nice to have met you Tie!

B: I'm glad we sorted this all out George!

A: Yes, Tie, good clean logic has never let us down!

B: You up for ice cream?

A: Sure.

B: My treat!

A: Don't you mean Tie's treat?  
THE END


	2. Not an Original Fic

Attention fans, employees, and... um... others...

Due to some... um... others reviews... I've decided to do two things:

1: Discontinue the story, as it seems to frighten said others into... um... profane and unreasonable claims.

and

2: Clear up the truth behind my so called "Original fiction".

Random Conversations is not an original fiction. It is a fanfic. A fanfic of a play done by a local theater group in my small town, DeRidder Louisiana. The theater group is called The Impromtu Players, and that particular play was entitled "The Nonames". In my "Original fiction" of these "original" nonames, I simply made up names for them, and in the comic essence, yet very confusing... way of the play I allowed them to discover their names. Sorry if you've never heard of the play. Just because you haven't heard of it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And I'm sorry, but I don't know if The Impromtu Players have a website or not... I'll look into it and let you know, so you can see for yourself. 

Thanks for all the support... um... or lack of... Ssorian. 


End file.
